Start to live your Fresh Start Success in public. Go to networking events in your field and introduce yourself with your new specialty (and your new business card). Join the professional associations and business groups for your type of business. It will feel strange at first, especially if you spent many years in your former role and your old position was a big part of your personal identity. But as you slip into this new person you’re becoming, repetition will make it easier to represent your new self to others (and see yourself in a new light).
Make sure your online persona matches your reinvention. Do you have a website for your new business? How does it represent you and what you offer? Have you updated your Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn profiles to accurately reflect who you are now and what you’re doing?
It has long been my contention that everything is based on relationship.
On a personal level, we prefer to spend time with those whom we like (or love).
On a professional level, we prefer to be in business, and do business, with people we know, like and trust. In fact, those three words, know, like and trust, are so vital to building strong business relationships that they have become a cliche in the marketing world.
So how do you create the relationships that result in know, like and trust?
Several years ago, I was interviewed by Lorwai Lan, the brilliant radio show host of Your Money and Your Mindset. My topic was It’s Never Too Late to Become a Midlife Millionaire. I later discovered that this interview was the top downloaded podcast on the CEM network with over 30,000 downloads. You can access it by clicking here.
One of the things I discuss is mindset. The idea of mindset is so important because unless you have a healthy relationship with money, no matter how much you earn or have, you will never be able to keep it, grow it, or feel secure and joyful about it. This is why 70% of lottery winners squander away their winnings within a few years. We have all heard these stories and think, “I’d never do that!” Oh really?
So you’ve picked your destination. Great! Now, it’s time to shift people’s perception of who they think you are. That’s important, because if they don’t know you’ve made a change or can’t see you in a different light, they can’t help you succeed.
There’s a reason for stereotypes and pigeon-holes. They are ways our brains create a filing system and know where to put people in our mental map of the me-centered universe. ‘Bob the accountant’, ‘Jane the teacher’, ‘Bill the dentist’, ‘Anna the engineer’—these are all short, easy ways we keep straight all the hundreds of people we meet and know. Stereotypes come in when we create a one-size-fits-all description of what someone who is in a certain job or profession is like. ‘Accountants are risk-averse and detailed-oriented’ or ‘IT people like to solve problems and are introverts’—you probably could fill a page with your own version of professional stereotypes if you gave it some thought.
Have you ever considered how the people you know have already pigeon-holed and stereotyped you?
Everyone wants more abundance because it implies an infinite connection with the “good” aspects of the universe. For those who have ample abundance, there are dreams of love, better health, or a different way of life. Ultimately, it’s the same vision but slightly different.
Abundance is a frequency. It’s much like tapping into a radio station, a particular band of energy. As with the radio, you have to know the “number” or feeling of the frequency to locate it. You also have to search for it and tune into it. We identify the right frequency by listening to the “sound” for a moment or two.
My husband and I recently met with our financial planner, John Steves. He is my fabulous former partner at Ameriprise. Yes, even though I am a Certified Financial Planner, I still have my own advisor. It keeps my husband and me disciplined. Besides, I am a ‘big picture’ person, and John is a ‘detail’ person who does the number-crunching and also has his ears and eyes on the market daily.
Having a trusted adviser is one of the very best gifts you can give to yourself. I can assist you with the big picture, the discovery process, and help you create a game plan. However, you also want someone to run your financial plan, looking at every area of your financial life, including what would happen if you died prematurely or couldn’t do what you do anymore. Too often I hear of advisers just looking at the investments or just the insurance. True financial planning includes six areas of your life:
Realize that ‘marketing’ is actually a different way of saying ‘communication’. When we say ‘marketing’, we’re covering a wide range of activities that can include: social media, newsletters, in-person conversations, networking (in-person or online), speaking to groups, direct mail, traditional advertising, public relations, video, and more.
What’s essential is that you find a way to do two very important things: Redefine yourself to the world; and Create a personal brand to stand out and be remembered. Creating a personal brand will take you a long way toward getting colleagues, customers and the media to see you in a new light.
So how do you do it? Glad you asked!
When is the last time you took a deep dive into your work habit and patterns? When did you consider what you do each day to see how it really aligns with what you most need to get done to achieve your goals?
It’s interesting to note that it is possible to expand your blessings by altering the flow of your mind. When you learn to focus on universal connection, the direction of life often changes.
Here are a few tips:
- Imagine blessings as a gentle, soft wind. If you stand in the wind, it lifts your hair, brings warmth, and makes delightful sounds. Imagine this as an energy, which you can feel and touch. It is moving gently through your life, and you receive its loveliness. (In general, people tend anticipate or feel anxiety about future. In this case, you are simply receiving.)
It is a commonly understood truth in business that the best prospective client or customer is a person who has been referred to you by someone who is a trusted advisor and resource.
Prospects who are referred to you by someone they trust come with two singular benefits to you:
- They are already interested in your product or service, or they wouldn’t have asked for a referral.
- They are predisposed to like and trust you, based on their respect for the person who gave them your name as a reference.
Career success is all about reinvention, which creates your personal branding and expert platform.
But here’s a secret: you don’t always get reinvention—or branding—right on the first try.
Gail’s friend Alex learned this lesson from a golden retriever named Ralph.
Alex lived in a nice suburban neighborhood, and when he let Ralph out in the morning, Ralph would jump the fence and not come back until he had retrieved all of the neighbors’ newspapers. That was cute the first time, but pretty soon, it got to be a problem. As fond as Alex was of Ralph, he thought maybe Ralph would do better with a little more room to roam.
“A United Kingdom” (2016 production, 2017 release). Cast: David Oyelowo, Rosamund Pike, Jack Davenport, Tom Felton, Laura Carmichael, Terry Pheto, Jessica Oyelowo, Vusi Kunene, Nicholas Lyndhurst, Anastasia Hille, Arnold Oceng, Charlotte Hope, Theo Landey, Abena Ayvior, Jack Lowden, Madison Manowe. Director: Amma Asante. Screenplay: Guy Hibbert. Web site. Trailer.
The power of love is undeniable. In fact, when employed skillfully, it can work wonders, not only in interpersonal relationships, but also in circumstances that have wider ramifications, some of which may be unforeseen at the outset. That’s the surprising and amazing outcome for a romance once considered taboo, one even with international implications, as depicted in the new historical love story, “A United Kingdom.”
The Universe as a Symphony of Strings
What do Fifth Century B.C. Pythagoreans have in common with modern state-of-the art cosmologists & physicists? In a word – strings! For the ancient Greek Pythagoreans it was the lyre string; modern scientists postulate infinitesimally small strings as the ultimate building blocks of the universe.
The Greeks found that the tone of a plucked lyre string corresponded to its length. Changing the length of the vibrating string changed the tone in a precise way; double the length and the tone goes down by a full octave; reduce the length by two-thirds, the note changes by a fifth. The laws of music and harmonics are discovered and reduced to mathematics. The Pythagoreans believe everything is based on music and math.
The Pythagoreans extended this thinking in attempt to explain the entire universe. They partially succeeded but ultimately failed in their attempts.
Every time we tell an audience that “change is uncomfortable,” Gail thinks of the parakeet her friend Lorraine used to own. Lorraine’s parakeet was very tame. She would let it out of its cage, and it could fly around the house. One day, the parakeet landed on the floor in the middle of the kitchen. Lorraine’s springer spaniel swallowed the bird in one gulp.
In the next instant, Lorraine’s teenage son dove across the kitchen and tackled the dog, giving it the Heimlich Maneuver. Up came the parakeet—alive and unhurt—but looking rather bedraggled and confused.
Two Biggest Worries Living Overseas
The Forbes reporter who interviewed me this week wanted me to give it to him straight.
“Living or retiring overseas,” he began, “is an exciting idea on the surface… but there must be downsides.
“What are the biggest concerns people have after making a move to another country, once the honeymoon is over?” he wanted to know.
“I can think of two,” I told him…
The first big-deal distress that can take hold after settling into a new home in a foreign place is missing family and friends, especially children and grandchildren, back in the place where you came from.
If you’re used to being a regular part of your grandkids’ lives, breaking that connection will hurt.
You have more good options for addressing this risk today than ever. FaceTime, Skype, and video chat technology make it possible to “see” your kids and grandkids everyday if you want.
Of course, FaceTiming with your 4-year-old grandson is not the same as bouncing him on your knee, but it can make the separation easier to deal with.
If you have children or grandchildren in your life who you want to keep in your life after you’ve relocated your life to a new country, make sure you include a generous travel allotment in your budget. Build in the cost of visiting them and of having them come to visit you and then make those visits count.
What a great opportunity for your grandchild to spend two months each summer with
Recently one of my newer clients asked me for advice on how to stay calm at an up-coming event, when she had to sit through another person’s talk before giving her own business presentation.
Since she already struggles with nerves and a shaky voice even when she doesn’t have to wait to speak, she was really worried about whether or not she could even give her presentation under those circumstances.
This month, the Sklar Center live event is LIBIDO. Along with tasting healthy, sexy chocolate, we are going to have a fun, informative time. Of course, LIBIDO is a topic that can cause some discomfort and a little anxiety. Or maybe you feel like that part of your life is dead and gone forever. I have news for you–there are ways to resurrect it.
“Paterson” (2016). Cast: Adam Driver, Golshifteh Farahani, Barry Shabaka Henley, Chasten Harmon, William Jackson Harper, Masatoshi Nagase, Rizwani Manji, Cliff Smith, Sterling Jerins, Johnnie Mae, Trevor Parham, Troy T. Parham, Nellie the bulldog. Director: Jim Jarmusch. Screenplay: Jim Jarmusch. Web site. Trailer.
How do you view your reality? Do you see it as a collection of material commodities or as an aggregation of small, magnificent, often-underappreciated wonders? Do you take the time to appreciate the details of the elements that populate your existence, or do you gloss over them as insignificant irrelevancies? And what conclusions do you come away with from such assessments? Those are some of the thoughtful ponderings raised in the quietly meditative new independent release, “Paterson.”
Two Reasons You Can’t Afford Not To Retire Overseas
Your retirement nest egg has been marginalized, and you’re thinking there’s no way you could afford to retire overseas.
This is probably the most-often-given reason for why someone who’s interested in the idea of launching a new life in a new country hesitates or even abandons the idea altogether. And it’s the least valid. Here’s the truth: You can’t afford not to retire overseas.
I’m speaking both literally and figuratively.
“Things to Come” (“L’avenir”) (2016). Cast: Isabelle Huppert, André Marcon, Roman Kolinka, Edith Scob, Sarah Le Picard, Solal Forte, Elise Lhomeau, Daniel Dray-Rabotnik, Guy-Patrick Sainderichen, Yves Heck, Rachel Arditi. Director: Mia Hansen-Løve. Screenplay: Mia Hansen-Løve. Web site. Trailer.
Having it made is something we all crave, right? The prospects of all of our material, vocational and emotional needs being met probably has tremendous appeal for most of us. But what happens when what we thought we wanted becomes a trap that keeps us from exploring other options? We may come to feel stifled, restricted and unfulfilled. But what do we do about it? Those are the questions raised in the thought-provoking new French melodrama, “Things to Come” (“L’avenir”).
“Fences” (2016). Cast: Denzel Washington, Viola Davis, Stephen McKinley Henderson, Jovan Adepo, Russell Hornsby, Mykelti Williamson, Saniyya Sidney. Director: Denzel Washington. Screenplay: August Wilson. Play: August Wilson, Fences. Web site. Trailer.
The parameters of our existence define the reality we experience. But who or what defines those parameters? Discovering the answer to that question has been a source of debate for eons, but, when we take a really close look at it, we find that the responsibility rests squarely in our own hands, an idea thoughtfully explored in the engaging new stage-to-screen adaptation of playwright August Wilson’s Pulitzer Prize-winning work, “Fences.”
Music creates feelings. I think at Valentine’s Day the question is, “Can music create love?” Feelings, such as love and the energy of music are more connected than we ever imagined! Both energies have waves, which combine in close proximity.
Recall how the sound track of a movie makes you feel. The sound-waves play your “feelings,” as if your body is a harp. Music triggers your feelings, hence music can indeed enhance love.
It’s challenging to stay centered, peaceful, and balanced when the energies of the world change several times each day. Empaths and healers feel the world turn and surge with global events and strong emotions of mass consciousness. We also feel the people around us.
The “light” energy amplifies everything. The energy is challenging, and it’s important to tap into the inner self on a regular basis to find our way. Otherwise, we lose touch with the inner self, which acts as a light on the path.
How would you like to be able to add to your business database and create a win-win-win situation at the same time?
How would you like to be able to do that at no cost to yourself, while giving added value to the people already on your list?
And how would you like to strengthen your relationships with potential joint venture and referral partners at the very same time?
Golfers invent a myriad of excuses in order to sneak out and play this much beloved game. Sometimes it is an early exit from work, other times it’s a respite from chores, the spouse, or the honey-do list. Admittedly I may have been guilty a time or two decades ago before golf became my work or when an old boyfriend didn’t play golf and didn’t want me to, either. These days I need to provide reasons I’m not playing golf.
In 1984 I became Director of Music at St. Rita Church in Detroit and my responsibilities were to oversee the music ministries there, conduct choir rehearsals, play and sing at weekend and holiday liturgies, funerals and weddings, and to attend staff and parish council meetings; but basically, I had some free time during the week to do as I pleased, which included responsibilities at Capers, the restaurant I’ve owned since 1982, and of course, playing golf.